Between Dream and Reality

We are cruising along, living perfectly ordinary lives, and suddenly an idea comes into our mind. At the beginning is seems absolutely crazy. “How can I possibly turn this idea into a profitable business?” We begin to dream about the business, selling your jewelry to Saks, writing the great American novel, or becoming a lawyer. And it is our little secret, that outrageous dream that no one but us has to know about. We take it out and dust it off for our own amusement. We think about it when we are cleaning the kitchen floor. But deep down we know that it will probably never happen. It is too scary; it may even be silly!

And do you know something? We are probably right, it will never happen. Not because it is too difficult, scary, and silly, but because as long as we don’t talk about it out loud, it is easy to avoid turning the dream into reality.

So how do we overcome that block; how do we shush that little voice that tells us it is a crazy idea? More specifically, how do you turn the dream into reality? The first step is to say it to yourself, use your most authoritative voice to tell yourself “I am going to start writing right now”. Be convincing, because you are the person that needs convincing the most. Don’t tell yourself that it is possible; tell yourself that it will happen.

Next, tell those closest to you. Here it will probably not be necessary to be quite so authoritative because they almost certainly believe in you already. Maybe they have been waiting for years to hear you say the magic words. Then, tell the world. Be matter of fact, ‘I am a writer”. No need to be defensive, or to go into a long explanation explain, just say it.

Why the talking exercises? Because once you say it out loud you commit yourself to actually doing it. It becomes real.

That is how I talked myself into becoming a lawyer. When my daughter graduated from college I decided that it was my time to go back to school. I knew that if anything happened to my husband, I had few skills that would get me a job that paid above the minimum wage.

I was taking a class in which we had to write about what I call “what do you want to be when you grow up”. At 48 years of age, it was a bit late to be thinking about this, but an assignment is an assignment, and I was going to give it my best shot. I wrote about becoming a court interpreter because I was fluent in English and Spanish, and I had always been interested in the law. I had grown up in a small town in Mexico, at a time when girls did not think about being lawyers. Girls were going to grow up to be mommies, not attorneys. And most certainly I wanted to be a mommy, but deep down I had also wished that things had been different for women of my age.

A few days latter the professor called me in for a chat. Her name is Glenda McGee, a great lady; and she told me that no, I was not too old to be a lawyer, and if I really wanted to do it, I could. At first it sounded silly, but the more I thought about it the more intrigued I became. Still, I wasn’t about to make a fool of myself by telling others what the professor had said to me.

Well, it took me a while to begin to say it to myself out loud. The sound of my voice saying “I am going to be a lawyer” was a bit shocking, but also affirming. After I convinced myself, or perhaps I just got used to hearing the words, I decided to tell my husband about what the professor had said. He looked at me, and with assurance that I did not feel he said, “of course you are not too old to become a lawyer”. And it was still silly, also scary and crazy, but someone who I respected very much had supported me, and I had to believe. After that, I just told everyone in a natural way, “I am going to law school”.

By telling others and myself I made a commitment to taking the necessary steps to reaching the goal. If I had kept it as my deep dark secret, I could always back out. But once I told everyone, I could not go back on my word.

Seven years later, I graduated from law school. That summer I took the California bar exam and passed on the first attempt. In December of 2002 I was sworn in as an attorney at the age of 55. I still have the posters that my daughter and son made for my graduation. One of them says, “Mom shows it is never too late to dream”.

The telling became the first step in turning the dream into reality. So don’t be afraid, tell yourself and then the world “ I will do it”.

Dream Big